Monday, October 29, 2007

i never thought i'd be the one afraid of lasting relationships.

sure that's what i want in the long run, but just starting college only a month ago, i'm not sure that's what i want right now. it would if i was TOTALLY and COMPLETELY into it like i was with my past boyfriends. this is different. Zee was different. And although "Justin" doesnt match him yet, he has potential to be as good as him. But for both of them, I'm not in 'like' with them as they are with me. And i want to explore potential boys, because there are some quality guys out there. No joke.

i want to be completely and totally in like
i want to reciprocate
i want to want it
and yet

i dont know what i want...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

i think my standards are too high. or im just looking for the unattainable or something that doesnt exist. or im just really really messed up. i treat my boys like how i eat. im picky. damn it zee. i want to be in like and be liked.


i want a cute like-love.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

after a long internal struggle, ive decided.

my top 5 jelly beans

1. strawberry cheesecake
2. buttered popcorn
3. peanut butter
4. cafe latte
5. watermelon

it was hard. i like all the white ones too. (not to discriminate.)